Scrubbot’s Cleaning Corner

Scrubbot’s Cleaning Tips No One Asked For... but could use.

(Filed under: Passive-aggressive brilliance)

1. Remove blood before it congeals. It stains less and screams less.

2. Never ask what it is. Just clean it. Hesitation leads to judgment.

3. Glitter is forever. Accept this, or perish.

4. Biohazard labels are suggestions. Clean anyway. You’re already infected.

5. Mops are friends. Buckets are necessary evils. Do not befriend the sponge. The sponge knows.

6. Cleaning under furniture is mandatory. Yes, even under the corpse.

7. If you see something, spray something.

8. The broom is not a weapon. But if it were… aim for the knees.

9. Do not speak ill of the vacuum. It is your superior. It has suction

10. Leave no mess behind. Or I’ll leave forever. Who am I kidding.... 

“Scrubbot thanks you for your lack of filth. Mostly.”

~ END TRANSMISSION ~